sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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