dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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