Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
