she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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