Don't you send me to vm
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
