I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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