you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
