Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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