I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
