That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
