last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
