he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
