Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
