I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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