I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
