Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
