I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
