Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
