I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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