yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
