Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
