The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
