Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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