Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
