ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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