my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
