I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
