I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
