If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
