How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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