shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
