I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
