they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
