I just saw a hot homeless man
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
