Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep

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(330): View more from Ohio

I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"

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(314): View more from Missouri

Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.

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(214): View more from Texas

Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.

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(989): View more from Michigan

Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs

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(402): View more from Nebraska

The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great

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