I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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