so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
