Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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