can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
