Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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