i can't believe i had my finger in that
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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