do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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