there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
