I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Panties = found
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