tell your sister to shave her snatch
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
