new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
