so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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