Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
