remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My dick has a subreddit
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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