you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
